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Healing from Pregnancy Loss

I cannot say I am completely healed from my miscarriages. But I don’t think anyone who’s ever knowingly experienced a miscarriage can. Just like any trauma, a miscarriage can never disappear. Not that I’m comparing traumas mind you. I can say however that I am sane, that I can enjoy other aspects of my life,Continue reading “Healing from Pregnancy Loss”

The Fourth Miscarriage

I hoped I would never need such a title. Truthfully, I had imagined sharing my story of salvation. The story of my rainbow baby. Maybe one day I will. But for now I share my story of today. My husband and I sang this morning, thanking G-d for the blood. Our children joined in, though theyContinue reading “The Fourth Miscarriage”

Why is There No Mourning for Miscarriage in Judaism?

Why is there no mourning for a baby lost to miscarriage, stillbirth or neonatal death before 30 days? I would like b’ezrat Hashem to present an understanding, a limited understanding, my understanding. A soul of such a sweet child is certainly no less important than any other soul brought to this world. The mourning ritualsContinue reading “Why is There No Mourning for Miscarriage in Judaism?”

Our Weapon is Modesty

I don’t feel completely comfortable writing this. And yet, I am writing this, because I believe in my message. I believe it could change the world. I’m a very sensitive person. This sensitivity can produce exceptional joy or exceptional pain. The pain comes to expression in hearing about tragedies. Other people can hear of tragedies,Continue reading “Our Weapon is Modesty”

Torah and Miscarriage

Nothing can lessen the pain incurred from miscarriage. But learning what the Torah, G-d’s guidebook to life, says about miscarriage, can help us begin to heal. I think this information is valuable, not just for Jews, but for all of womankind. There are several views to be considered, but this resonates with me. In theContinue reading “Torah and Miscarriage”

What Not to Say

If you know someone who has gone, or is going through, a miscarriage, then you have an opportunity to perform an awesome act of kindness. A woman who miscarries suffers a tragic, poorly understood loss. She needs support, from those she chooses to reveal her loss to. Problematically, people seldom know what to say orContinue reading “What Not to Say”

Saying Goodbye Before Saying Hello

I’d finally agreed to an ultrasound. Corona fever was dying down, I could let myself out of the house. And I was excited to see our baby. When I walked into the doctor’s office, I’d almost forgotten about the frightening orange stain I’d noticed earlier that day. I’d almost forgotten to pray that our baby was okayContinue reading “Saying Goodbye Before Saying Hello”

I’ve Got You, Binge Eater

Hello teenage girl who binge eats! Ehrm. Okay. You don’t have to be a teenager to read or identify with this. Or a girl for that matter. It’s just- when I needed this message, I was as a teenage girl. I would have given my mahogany semi-hollow bodied guitar, meant to charm my guitar obsessedContinue reading “I’ve Got You, Binge Eater”

Ode to Writing

Hopper said, “If I could say it in words there would be no reason to paint.” This used to be my favorite quotation of my facebook, back when I had a facebook. At the time I was doing lots of art. And I was quiet and unsure of myself when speaking, just like I amContinue reading “Ode to Writing”